the importance of losing well

I'm sick with the flu. It could have been the pig flu. Only god knows. I say it could have been pig flu (aka the H1N1 virus), because for all we know, the pig flu may be as harmless (or harmful) as the normal, seasonal flu.

So here I am, sitting with a fever, feeling like a pig, since all I've been doing is eating and sleeping. Pig flu indeed.

I can't seem to concentrate on anything for long, so I've ended up watching A LOT of CSI:NY's season 5. Earlier in the day, I seemed to be getting better, so I decided to play a little bit of chess on chess.com. 20min game.

Early in the game, I made a horrible oversight that left me with doubled pawns in the center. Trying to maintain material parity left me overstretched, and I quickly collapsed to a well-coordinated king-side attack from my opponent.

Arrrgh, a loss. Losing sucks.

But I realised, losing a chess game left me feeling irritated, but much more energetic than I had been all day. Or at least more motivated to get my chess mojo back, since I was still coughing my lungs out onto the keyboard.

Losing chess games suck. It really sucks. It's painful.

But what allows me to continue playing and enjoying chess is the ability to learn from my losses, and keep on trying. I'm now learning that very early on in the opening, tactical opportunities can open up, especially when your opponent makes a move that looks 'strange'. Even from as early on as the 3rd move.

I also blame my loss on my circumstances. I'm sick, and not fully alert. I wouldn't have made the mistakes I made if I had been well and awake.

I don't blame myself. With every loss, I don't think of myself as a 'lousy' chess player. I see every loss as an opportunity to become a better player. If I can spot the moves that put me in a bad position and my opponent in a better position, then I can learn from it.

Losing well. That is what has allowed me to become a better player. Even though I have a loooong way to go.